It's not confirmed yet by letter, but I finally get a hint that my place is finally confirmed, although all the applications are still in process.

People must be thinking that I'll be jumping for joy when I finally got this little piece of news even though it's not official. But then... My mind is running with a lot of emotions. Happy, sad (yes, unfortunately), excited, scared, eager - but of course I'm happy (most of the time) when I heard about the hint that I just got.

For the first time after a long time, I feel that it's really so close, like almost in my hand; just waiting for me to grab it. Seriously, I'll be crying a river when the acceptance letter is finally in my hands.

On the day I finally get it, I'll go all out being emotional despite what people are going to say about me. I'll cry because I'm happy, I'll cry because I finally get it, I'll cry because I'll have to leave everything behind and start all over, I'll cry because I have to stay away from home for a long time, I'll cry because I said yes, I'll cry for the sake of everything.

I should start counting days - and that will take a long time (yeah, that's why waiting is such a pain), and I hope with all of the current distractions around me will make the time flies faster. Somehow, I cannot wait to get out of here and leave all this crazy *wink wink* things behind, travel as far as I can and start a new life somewhere that I can start all over.

So Spring - we'll be meeting after all yeah? :) wait for me, we'll watch the first flower blooms beautifully beneath all the melting snow.

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