you know how when you see something that is very unexpected; it just gives you the indescribable feelings, which is full of emotions? it's like, you've been thrown with a bucket of cold-ice water but at the same time being burnt with a very hot flame? okay, i'm bad at giving out metaphores - but yeah, your emotions are running up high and going down low without PMS or anything of that sort.

guess what. that's what i'm feeling now.

there's so much for me to bear lately. in a week, there's so many things that i've found out - and most of them give me a bad vibe :( i may look normal on the outside, but to be honest; i've been keeping lots of things that may make me tear up at the most unexpected time of the moment.

i'm telling you, don't involve science in this because it's not about hormones. it's about me, struggling with the darker side of my personalities.


do you how hard it is to face people everyday like usual when you know you're feeling despair inside?
do you know how hard it is to face the person that you used to talk and tease everyday and now for no sudden reason, you both have been acting like strangers?
do you know how hard it is to face a sudden fact that may change your options forever?
do you know how hard it is to control your jealousy?


i don't want this post to be emo. but i supposed; when you really need a place to lash out some of your unspoken words, something like this will come out.

but still, i have to admit i do have some good times this week :)

if you think that i'm still in the unforgiving mood, yes. but somehow i've been thinking; isn't it the best solution if both of us sit together and talk about it, rather than not saying hello even if you're only a step away from me?

the problem is; i don't have the courage yet.

still, listening to taylor swift's back to december hits me at one point that somebody has to open up and start talking - in other words, forget the ego.

being a human is hard after all you know.


p/s: my mp4 player is back, and i'm elated about it :D:D yeayuhhhh
and oh, i have to start studying now or i won't get my pointer target gahhhh
btw, malaysian studies was awesome, except the midterm exam part. macam buduuu

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