le chemin de mémoires

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Year's Eve - 2009 Resolution, 11:40 PM, 0 comments

~~Fuck~~ myself. I feel like I haven't write here for a long, long time.
Especially writing using a pencil and pen, though I did STUDY during the hols.
Or is that even considered a leisure holiday? :/ Beat me to death.
And I'm here, about 40 minutes more to 2009.

The thing is, I never care as much as this before.
About going to another new year. Is that even a good thing, worries of 2009?
School is starting soon (4 days more, to be specific) and somehow I feel... lost.
2 months gone just like that, as if it was just yesterday. I suppose to feel happy this time.
Another new year that I'll never get again forever.

After all, it's final year of school. Hey, in a blink of an eye I'm 17 already! God.

If so, why am I worried? Pulse beating faster every second, is that normality?

If I'm worried about SPM, I know myself better than anyone. My worries for SPM started a long time ago.
Imagine this; sacrifices that I made for hiatus-ing Say Goodbye and Masquerade. Lesser entertainments for almost 11 months. [Make it 12 months, we all know that]
It's not about stupid disorders either. I have no serious "disorder"... yet.
I'm worried about something more... complicated in life.

Something unspeakable. By words or actions, none can explain what is it.

Maybe this is about future. I know I'm thinking about it too far but it's never too early to think about it.
Maybe this is about myself. As a whole person. Am I really that old already? 17?
What? It looked as if I just took PMR and UPSR yesterday. Now I'm taking SPM.
It's not wasted at all, I know. If not, you'll probably see me wandering helplessly in one of those asylums.

The truth is, I don't want to be an adult. I want to be a teenager. Forever.
How many times people before me said this before I myself think about his too?
It's loads. But you want to know something that will never leave my mind?

I'm carrying on the study no matter what.
My instinct's probably right. Maybe it's one of my teenager's blues in life.
You know. "Hormon tidak stabil" :)
I'm guessing that I make another confession to move on for life. Haha.

It's finally a few seconds before the New Year 2009.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...!

Happy New Year 2009! (Not exactly accurate, but I could hear fireworks banging like hell already!)

Did I tell you?

School's starting very soon. Saya sudah tua.

Ahaha ;]

Labels: new year

♥ nina.sha ♥

← Newer Post Older Post →